If I never get married.

A couple of weeks ago I had a profound thought. While despite my continuous disappointment in my dealings with men I still feel like ultimately I will find the right one for me. But I realized that if I never get married, God has blessed me with some much love in my life I would not be able to complain. I have the best friends that a person could ever have. I actually have a posse. If I were only friends with one of them I would have more than most but I have 5. These girls are the best people I know and I am so thankful for them. They all came to visit me and it was laughs from the moment we all got together until we went our separate ways. Now don't get me wrong we are all certifiably crazy in our own special way and it is a mystery how we all come together but it works. I love these girls and they just keep me full. Thank Ya LAWD for great friends.

Never been so glad to be THIRD!!!

So this is exciting. I guess I will give you some background for all of the one person that reads this blog. Every year instead of making resolutions I have themes. My theme for 08 was emancipate in 08. I really liked this theme because it could encompass what ever facet of your life you want it to from finances to love. So for one of the items on the to do list for emancipation was read at an open mic. I have been going to open mics since my freshman year of college 1000 years ago. I love them, the vibe always makes me feel better, I never regret going, I can't get enough. I will say something positive about KC(REMEMBER THIS). They have some really talented poets here and the poetry scene is pretty good, the teenagers in KC are literally out of this world. So anyway since I am about to leave today was my last open mic in KC, so I went thinking maybe I would do one but probably not. I had already decided on an extremely short one to ease me in. So I did it, palms sweating I signed my name to the list and then waited rating how my poem would compare to the rest before me, sad I waited so long to sign up and would be one of the last to go. Then my name was called and I got up there and told them about my yearly themes and why I was there and how what they do has really uplifted me when I needed it. I tell them that my poem is super short. Then I go I look into the mic and say 18 words. Thirty minutes later my name is getting called for 3rd place. WHAT!!! I was like.... ME? And as I was waiting to collect my little 25 dollars people were coming up to me telling me how my poem was so good. One lady was like it almost made me cry which was touching but I though it would take you longer to form a tear than the poem actually was. Poets that have almost brought me to tears on many occasions complimented my brief profoundness. So for the one reader I am going to post my winning piece.

How can I forget him
If when I close my eyes
The darkness reminds me of his skin

Moral:
Set goals and complete them you may get out more than you expect
God always provides you with a blessing from the pain you go through
(the inspiration of the poem has brought so much drama to my life but tonight brought me 25$)

OUT!

You too can be Vice President!!!!

So of course I just watched the Vice Presidential debate. I am now listening to the feedback and people are really giving her credit for not royally screwing up. IS THAT ALL IT TAKES to be VP just not F&*# up to have a good debate. That Alaskan heffa didn't answer one question. Sometimes I wondered if she even heard the questions being ask. Not only that but she was clearly reading answers off her little paper, and trying to locate her probably color coded speaking points while Biden was speaking. I'm sorry America, but hell, the girl is Governor so she cant be a complete idiot. So the fact that she can read and memorize talking points isn't good enough for me. When McCain kicks the bucket she will be the president. She gave no facts!!!!!!! I have no idea about any concrete plans on the McCain ticket. And you know what Neither does SHE!!!!!! Biden killed her on Foreign Policy. She gave no specifics and he played her ass about the definition of the VP. Anyway America, while love her style (those suits are fly) Palin knows less than I do about anything except Alaska and I don't think I am qualified to be VP. So Sarah between now and November I want you to practice on answering a question and getting a clue.

I heart NE-YO

So Ne-Yo put out a new album on Tuesday. While I don't like this one as much as the first two, I still love the album. Because I am a avid hater of current R&B which I have re coined Rap&B, due to the fact that every rapper has some singer on the hook and every singer has a rapper on the track making Lloyd's album sound just like Young Berg (i honestly don't know any songs by him, I just know him as the house negro that stated that he doesn't date dark butts.) I am a lover of the R&B album that was a good mix of ballads and upbeat tracks with one track that had a guest appearance by the hot rapper of the moment and the one classic remake. This is why I LOVE Ne-Yo because he has continued to give me a R&B album every time. He always has that kinky nasty track that makes you wanna call up SWAG and ask him to come over. He puts it down on the upbeat tracks and he touches you will the ballads. People sleep on him but this boy is the truth. He is one of the only artists right now that is still putting out a R&B album that doesn't have a rapper and isn't called Neo Soul. What the masses don't realize is that now to get real music it has to be categorized as neo-soul, and you have to go to websites like www.dustygrooves.com. to find it. Now groups like pretty ricky are making remakes of Knocking the BOOTS!!!! SHUT YOUR MOUTH. You can't think of a skeezy song of your own that says the same thing as knocking the boots. Even perv R-kelly remade Stevie Wonder. Why because its hard to remake lyrics like ribbon in the sky. H-town!!!!WHHHAATTT!!!!! The path that music is going down is a whole nother what could be a blog series. Back to Ne-yo

I love him because I think he is true to the art that once was music. Get the Album! Support real Artists!!!

I hate Little Wyane

So I have decided to let the world know how I feel about Young Weezy. He makes me want to slap the world. He looks like a hip hop gremlin. I feel like his presence in my life and on my radio, and on the televison should be illegal. There should be some child protection warning whenever he comes on so the little kids will not have hip hop nightmares about the the HIP HOP GOBLIN( and that goblin is self proclaimed.) But you know who I hate more than him is everyone else who keeps perpetuating the idea that this black bastard is good. Here is a secret for the masses. HE IS NOT GOOD. Why is he famous? He is like the Sarah Palin of music. Why are you on top? Why are you in the position you are in? At least Sarah is easy on the eyes with her Tina Fey lookin girl. (He He). I have decided there is no way he looks in the mirror in the morning because if he did he would continually go back to bed hoping to wake up looking like a human. Can someone explain this phenomenon. There are currently all these emails about how Obama is the freaking Anti-Christ, but it is little little Wayne that is fooling the masses and influencing the children. Don't really know where that came from it is on my mind every time I see him. Have a great day.

I am a victim of Swagger

I just came back from a really nice date and somewhere during the middle of this really nice date I realized 2 things.
1) Nice guys don't finish last but they are sort of like the person who came in after Bolt in olympics.
2) I am really only attracted to men with swag.

I have had this conversation with many of my friends and when we disect it down to why we are attracted to no good men, the common denominator is SWAG!!! Swag is not a look, it comes in all shapes, sizes and shades, its an attitude, an aura. It is the ability to make your presence known without having to say anything. Or the ability to make other people want to know what is about you that makes you walk with your shoulders back and your head up and look people dead in the eyes. I'd like to think I have a little swag myself, I am the Diddy of my own life. Maybe that is why tonight I had to accept that I am a swaggaholic.

Tonight I sat across from a really nice guy so in this story we will call him NICE. There were some things about Nice that I knew weren't going to fly. His pants were high waters, so that was already a sign because men with swag do not flood. Then there was the cotton polo. Nice guys wear their shirt with a little bend in the collar sort of like our fathers, men with swag keep those collars crisp and razor sharp. Nice guys buy buicks, swagger dudes buy motorcycles.

To let you in on this apiphany I had I have to make you aware that there is a particular person that has driven me to start a Swaggaholics Anonymous support group. We will call him SWAG. So I had to decide the other day that I couldn't deal with SWAG anymore because it wasn't healthy. I figure that will be pretty easy because it seems like I do most of the communicating. But in true swag form, I think he could sense that I was on a date because in the middle of my date with Nice I get a text from Swag. So from that point on I can't even really focus on Nice because I'm thinking about how to respond to Swag. In fact I was ready to end the outing with NICE at that moment in order to have a text convo with SWAG. This is ludicrous!!!!!

So basically I walked away from the date realizing that I am a victim of swag and those women out there like me need to come together and figure out how to let go of the swagger and let in nice!!! For the one person that reads this if you have any suggestions let me know.

Fake Deepism

So one of the things I love about my friends it that they are secretely brilliant. One of the interesting things about my friends is that we have deep conversations at the most ignorant vocabulary level. Like to the average onlooker our conversations look no different than the conversations of those chillin on corners talking smack about sports and who is finer Beyonce or Kelly, Boris or Shemar. Its just what we discuss that is different. Because I am used to having conversations on about a 3rd grade gutter english level, fake deepism drives me crazy. I hate when people try to initiate a conversation with convoluted language or try to be thought provoking. If you are bright and have insight people will know, you don't have to attempt to sound smart. When my sister calls I answer the phone; what up nig, not hello sibling how is your day going. So don't ask me if I feel like the CNN special will bring about change in black america or will we continue with the status quo.
Ask my simple ass will this special matter and I will tell you no because only middle class black folks that have cable watched that special, so there is no thought provoking there.

And maybe I am just stupid and that is why I want you to talk to me like a regular person. Or maybe I have nothing to prove.

Quote

Your dick keeps making me forget I think your stupid!!!

LOL

MUSIC REVIEW

Right now I am totally feeling Adele, she is singing the soundtrack of my life on so many levels. You should really check out her album 19. Right now my song is First Love because I am experiencing those feelings currently.

Chris Rock is Brilliant!!!!

This isn't a review about the Chris Rock show I just saw because we all know without question Chris Rock will not disappoint. He said something that was a total revelation to me. He was talking about interacial relationships and how black women hate to see black men with white girls. I was sitting in my chair thinking oh lawd what ignorant mess it about to come out of his mouth, but what he said to me was soooo true and I didn't even realize it.
The reason it makes black women so mad, that black men are attracted to white women isn't because we have such a sense of loyalty to the black man its because for the most part;

BLACK WOMEN AREN"T ATTRACTED TO WHITE MEN.

Light bulb. HE is SOOO Right.

Men in general are equal opportunity, if you are somewhat cute and willing a man will partake. You have to be like the finest white boy on the block just to get a look from most black chicks. I took a gander for about 3 seconds with this white dude and he was FINE!!!! One of those built, protein shake eating types and as fine as he was I can say I am not that attracted to him. He doesn't come close to turning me on like my slightly overweight ex or the much shorter black as night dude I messed with recently. My question is:

WHY AREN'T WE ATTRACTED?

Why are we limiting ourselves to only black men, or at the very least brown?

I have a friend that perpetually dates white dudes and I mean pure white and found myself just disgusted by the thought of it. None of these dudes are even slightly attractive and when she talks about them sexually I literally want to throw up. She just has broader horizons, she isn't boxed into looking for just black men which I guess is good. I just love chocolate skin and want nothing else and I guess we black women have always taken the fact black dudes dating white girls as a lack of love for brown ones, Chris Rock made me realize they just take all, and especially whats easy. So maybe we should start doing the same.

But its going to have to start with you cause I loves me a brotha.

Out

Best Day Yet!!!!

So I have been in a bit of a funk lately. Sometimes I feel like the world we live in is all jacked up when Michael Vick is down the street in prison for dogs, and R-Mutha-F ing Seasame street, child loving Kelly's a## is free as a bird. I want to blow up KC. But then God just spoke to my heart with the day he sent my way. 82 degrees and SUNNY, no rain, no clouds, no slap your mamma heat. Today was by far the BEST day I have had in KC. Got up went to church, grabbed some fruit from the city market, came home and read INK from front to back, went for a 3 mile walk with a friend who is trying to drop some pounds, picked up some groceries, went home and took a quick 2o minute nap, went back to the park read some of What is the What by Dave Eggers, ran for 3 miles, laid on a bench to let the wind dry off the sweat, stopped and got 2 movies, came home took a shower, watched one movie, found out a friend bought me a ticket to go see Chris Rock on Saturday, and now I am sitting here smiling and recapping. Just didn't want to forget. For the 3 people that will read this blog, I just want to say, this was a day some people stayed in the house and missed the blessing I received. Keep your eyes open when you are going through, you never know how God is going to bless you, and rejuvenate your spirit. I needed today more than I can express and I am thankful!!!

Why do you look away????

So here in the KC area there is a crap ton of miscegenation which for those that didn't score too high on the Verbal SATs means combination of race. It sort of took me off guard when I first moved here, but now after year four it is so common place I don't even notice, EXCEPT. I have noticed that when black men are walking with their partners from another race they always divert their eyes. Why do they avoid making eye contact?
Do they think I am going to scowel? A
Are they afraid that their chick will see the longing in theirs eyes?

One thing I have realized is that many non black women that date black men might act big and bad but they subconciously worry that the queen is what their men truly long for. Anyway I am diverging. I really would like to know why they look away. The best is when you are in a place and a black man will walk in alone, you will look and him and he will then look down and I sit and ponder, what the hell is wrong with him? Does he have low self esteem? Is my boob hanging out? Then a few minutes later the answer will be revealed to me when their "other" comes in and she doesn't look like Tyra, she looks like Heidi.

I guess the way I feel about is, if your gonna do it why be concerned with others opinions. I have been on a few outings with white boys, most totally platonic and I am always amused by the reactions. I look black dudes right in their face as I sit with "the oppressor." Even though I know in my mind that there is not a cold chance in hell I would date the person I am with, I enjoy the reactions.

Just a random thought again from the coffee shop where I should be studying.

Why women are better cheaters

I am sitting here studying in a coffee shop in the middle of America and I just had a profound epiphany. I was thinking about a situation that I am sort of in and I realized why women are better cheaters than men. Why we can get away with cheating for so much longer than men. For those men out there that think they are the best liars that ever lived and their women never know. SIKE, you just date Kim Porter's that choose to ignore the obvious. WOMEN KNOW!!!!! Some choose to ignore, some tell themselves something but they still know in the back of their mind when they have a cheating man. Here is one major reason why for the most part men don't know when they have a cheating woman. Plain and simple.

Women are cordial.

What are you talking about? Women are cordial. Just that. You see women in general return phone calls and answer text messages, no matter how late. Men when they are being shady just ignore text messages, leaving their partners curious and opening up so many questions. Here are two examples.

Scenario 1

Mork is out with Mindy (the other woman) and Sarah calls. Mork looks at his phone, doesn't answer. He continues his date with Mindy and one thing leads to another and he is at Mindy's. Sarah calls again and Mork ignores the call. In the morning, everybody goes to work, Mork still hasn't called Sarah because his dumb ass hasn't thought of a good excuse. So at noon he calls and this is what he says to Sarah. "Hey Sarah, What you doin?" So that just leaves the door open for questioning from Sarah and lies from Mork.

Scenario 2

Minnie is out with Pluto and Mickey calls. Minnie knows who it is so she doesn't check until she goes to the restroom. While in the restroom she cordially sends a text stating she is isn't home and she will call when she gets home. Minnie and Pluto have a good time one thing leads to the next and she is spending the night. Over the course of the night Mickey calls 3 times. What does Minne do? As she is leaving Pluto's in the morning she calls, Mickey and apologizes CORDIALLY for not returning his calls, states she had a late night which wore her our (he he he!) and she fell right to sleep. This offers an explanation asap. Or lets say she is leaving at 3 am, she still calls, knowing Mickey is probably sleep and she will be able to leave a message. If he picks up she states she dosed off (which most people do post-coital), she is still in her clothes and as soon as she woke up she called him. Return of call, and explanation ASAP.

It is not rocket science, its just not being rude.

When someone calls a woman. She calls back at some point. Men in general don't operate like that, which leads to trouble. Men often try to put off or ignore all together what they perceive to be uncomfortable situations not realizing that the more time that lapses the more difficult it is to explain.

Dick and a Degree Syndrome

I am currently counting down the moments until my exodus from Kansas City. I have been here for 4 years now and the first year I had a boyfriend. In the last 3 years I have only found one person that I even remotely liked and well that didn't turn out too well. One of the first things I noticed about black educated men in KC was that most of them complained about being here. BUT I don't know one that is from KC that has moved.
Why would anyone stay here?
(Now I am biased, and if you love KC click to the next blog because I plan to bash KC with fervor in almost every blog)

In my observation the black men here love being BIG fish in a small pond. They like that they are one of a "few good men." And what always makes me giggle inside is that, I haven't really met many that are that impressive. Now granted I went to an HBCU, so I am used to being around educated black folk. I was also a biology major so most of my friends, are teachers, physicians, dentists, or have their PhD's, so a bachelors isn't that impressive to me. Everyone should be commended for bettering themselves no matter what that entails but don't smell yourself too much or think that I am supposed to be impressed.
I was having a casual conversation with one of these "few good men" and I was telling him that he should (blah blah blah) or he will end up single and he says to me "I have a dick and a degree, I won't be single."
Oh monkey hell no he didn't.
Really, is that all it takes?
Now this wasn't by any means a Boris Kojoe stunt double, or Tyson Beckford's even finer twin brother. This dude is aiiight.
Again I am giggling in my mind because I think to myself, I would have never talked to you back home. This is a dude who the first time I went out with him alone I called my girls afterwards and told them that I had been on the most uninteresting outing of my life. (NO LIE!!!) It took 2 years of free lunches for me to realize that he is actually a cool dude, but if I wasn't in KC he wouldn't have ever gotten those lunch opportunities.

So from my experience here is all you need to be a BIG fish in KC(aka small pond)
1) Have arms and legs (ambulatory ones) don't laugh I have been to a party where the most eligible person there was a guy in a wheelchair
2) Be at least 5 feet 5 inches ( I swear men are shorter here I am usually one of the tallest people at most parties)
3) Have most of your teeth
4 & 5) If you have these two they supersede 1-3 A DICK AND A DEGREE

I am blown!!!
And I am out!!!!!

Just so you know!!!

It has been suggested to me that I should write a book about all the the random happenings of me and my friends in our adventures of being young black educated and single. So I am going to start by Blogging about various stories ALL TRUE. Some will be mine and some will be other people's stories so stay tuned!!!!!

Welcome to BGinKC

So this is my first public blog and I would love to keep my anonymity but anyone that knows me well will probably be able to figure out the mastermind behind BGinKC. I don't know anything about anything but I have an opinion about EVERYTHING so stay tuned.......