Never been so glad to be THIRD!!!

So this is exciting. I guess I will give you some background for all of the one person that reads this blog. Every year instead of making resolutions I have themes. My theme for 08 was emancipate in 08. I really liked this theme because it could encompass what ever facet of your life you want it to from finances to love. So for one of the items on the to do list for emancipation was read at an open mic. I have been going to open mics since my freshman year of college 1000 years ago. I love them, the vibe always makes me feel better, I never regret going, I can't get enough. I will say something positive about KC(REMEMBER THIS). They have some really talented poets here and the poetry scene is pretty good, the teenagers in KC are literally out of this world. So anyway since I am about to leave today was my last open mic in KC, so I went thinking maybe I would do one but probably not. I had already decided on an extremely short one to ease me in. So I did it, palms sweating I signed my name to the list and then waited rating how my poem would compare to the rest before me, sad I waited so long to sign up and would be one of the last to go. Then my name was called and I got up there and told them about my yearly themes and why I was there and how what they do has really uplifted me when I needed it. I tell them that my poem is super short. Then I go I look into the mic and say 18 words. Thirty minutes later my name is getting called for 3rd place. WHAT!!! I was like.... ME? And as I was waiting to collect my little 25 dollars people were coming up to me telling me how my poem was so good. One lady was like it almost made me cry which was touching but I though it would take you longer to form a tear than the poem actually was. Poets that have almost brought me to tears on many occasions complimented my brief profoundness. So for the one reader I am going to post my winning piece.

How can I forget him
If when I close my eyes
The darkness reminds me of his skin

Moral:
Set goals and complete them you may get out more than you expect
God always provides you with a blessing from the pain you go through
(the inspiration of the poem has brought so much drama to my life but tonight brought me 25$)

OUT!

You too can be Vice President!!!!

So of course I just watched the Vice Presidential debate. I am now listening to the feedback and people are really giving her credit for not royally screwing up. IS THAT ALL IT TAKES to be VP just not F&*# up to have a good debate. That Alaskan heffa didn't answer one question. Sometimes I wondered if she even heard the questions being ask. Not only that but she was clearly reading answers off her little paper, and trying to locate her probably color coded speaking points while Biden was speaking. I'm sorry America, but hell, the girl is Governor so she cant be a complete idiot. So the fact that she can read and memorize talking points isn't good enough for me. When McCain kicks the bucket she will be the president. She gave no facts!!!!!!! I have no idea about any concrete plans on the McCain ticket. And you know what Neither does SHE!!!!!! Biden killed her on Foreign Policy. She gave no specifics and he played her ass about the definition of the VP. Anyway America, while love her style (those suits are fly) Palin knows less than I do about anything except Alaska and I don't think I am qualified to be VP. So Sarah between now and November I want you to practice on answering a question and getting a clue.

I heart NE-YO

So Ne-Yo put out a new album on Tuesday. While I don't like this one as much as the first two, I still love the album. Because I am a avid hater of current R&B which I have re coined Rap&B, due to the fact that every rapper has some singer on the hook and every singer has a rapper on the track making Lloyd's album sound just like Young Berg (i honestly don't know any songs by him, I just know him as the house negro that stated that he doesn't date dark butts.) I am a lover of the R&B album that was a good mix of ballads and upbeat tracks with one track that had a guest appearance by the hot rapper of the moment and the one classic remake. This is why I LOVE Ne-Yo because he has continued to give me a R&B album every time. He always has that kinky nasty track that makes you wanna call up SWAG and ask him to come over. He puts it down on the upbeat tracks and he touches you will the ballads. People sleep on him but this boy is the truth. He is one of the only artists right now that is still putting out a R&B album that doesn't have a rapper and isn't called Neo Soul. What the masses don't realize is that now to get real music it has to be categorized as neo-soul, and you have to go to websites like www.dustygrooves.com. to find it. Now groups like pretty ricky are making remakes of Knocking the BOOTS!!!! SHUT YOUR MOUTH. You can't think of a skeezy song of your own that says the same thing as knocking the boots. Even perv R-kelly remade Stevie Wonder. Why because its hard to remake lyrics like ribbon in the sky. H-town!!!!WHHHAATTT!!!!! The path that music is going down is a whole nother what could be a blog series. Back to Ne-yo

I love him because I think he is true to the art that once was music. Get the Album! Support real Artists!!!

I hate Little Wyane

So I have decided to let the world know how I feel about Young Weezy. He makes me want to slap the world. He looks like a hip hop gremlin. I feel like his presence in my life and on my radio, and on the televison should be illegal. There should be some child protection warning whenever he comes on so the little kids will not have hip hop nightmares about the the HIP HOP GOBLIN( and that goblin is self proclaimed.) But you know who I hate more than him is everyone else who keeps perpetuating the idea that this black bastard is good. Here is a secret for the masses. HE IS NOT GOOD. Why is he famous? He is like the Sarah Palin of music. Why are you on top? Why are you in the position you are in? At least Sarah is easy on the eyes with her Tina Fey lookin girl. (He He). I have decided there is no way he looks in the mirror in the morning because if he did he would continually go back to bed hoping to wake up looking like a human. Can someone explain this phenomenon. There are currently all these emails about how Obama is the freaking Anti-Christ, but it is little little Wayne that is fooling the masses and influencing the children. Don't really know where that came from it is on my mind every time I see him. Have a great day.

I am a victim of Swagger

I just came back from a really nice date and somewhere during the middle of this really nice date I realized 2 things.
1) Nice guys don't finish last but they are sort of like the person who came in after Bolt in olympics.
2) I am really only attracted to men with swag.

I have had this conversation with many of my friends and when we disect it down to why we are attracted to no good men, the common denominator is SWAG!!! Swag is not a look, it comes in all shapes, sizes and shades, its an attitude, an aura. It is the ability to make your presence known without having to say anything. Or the ability to make other people want to know what is about you that makes you walk with your shoulders back and your head up and look people dead in the eyes. I'd like to think I have a little swag myself, I am the Diddy of my own life. Maybe that is why tonight I had to accept that I am a swaggaholic.

Tonight I sat across from a really nice guy so in this story we will call him NICE. There were some things about Nice that I knew weren't going to fly. His pants were high waters, so that was already a sign because men with swag do not flood. Then there was the cotton polo. Nice guys wear their shirt with a little bend in the collar sort of like our fathers, men with swag keep those collars crisp and razor sharp. Nice guys buy buicks, swagger dudes buy motorcycles.

To let you in on this apiphany I had I have to make you aware that there is a particular person that has driven me to start a Swaggaholics Anonymous support group. We will call him SWAG. So I had to decide the other day that I couldn't deal with SWAG anymore because it wasn't healthy. I figure that will be pretty easy because it seems like I do most of the communicating. But in true swag form, I think he could sense that I was on a date because in the middle of my date with Nice I get a text from Swag. So from that point on I can't even really focus on Nice because I'm thinking about how to respond to Swag. In fact I was ready to end the outing with NICE at that moment in order to have a text convo with SWAG. This is ludicrous!!!!!

So basically I walked away from the date realizing that I am a victim of swag and those women out there like me need to come together and figure out how to let go of the swagger and let in nice!!! For the one person that reads this if you have any suggestions let me know.

Fake Deepism

So one of the things I love about my friends it that they are secretely brilliant. One of the interesting things about my friends is that we have deep conversations at the most ignorant vocabulary level. Like to the average onlooker our conversations look no different than the conversations of those chillin on corners talking smack about sports and who is finer Beyonce or Kelly, Boris or Shemar. Its just what we discuss that is different. Because I am used to having conversations on about a 3rd grade gutter english level, fake deepism drives me crazy. I hate when people try to initiate a conversation with convoluted language or try to be thought provoking. If you are bright and have insight people will know, you don't have to attempt to sound smart. When my sister calls I answer the phone; what up nig, not hello sibling how is your day going. So don't ask me if I feel like the CNN special will bring about change in black america or will we continue with the status quo.
Ask my simple ass will this special matter and I will tell you no because only middle class black folks that have cable watched that special, so there is no thought provoking there.

And maybe I am just stupid and that is why I want you to talk to me like a regular person. Or maybe I have nothing to prove.

Quote

Your dick keeps making me forget I think your stupid!!!

LOL