I am a victim of Swagger

I just came back from a really nice date and somewhere during the middle of this really nice date I realized 2 things.
1) Nice guys don't finish last but they are sort of like the person who came in after Bolt in olympics.
2) I am really only attracted to men with swag.

I have had this conversation with many of my friends and when we disect it down to why we are attracted to no good men, the common denominator is SWAG!!! Swag is not a look, it comes in all shapes, sizes and shades, its an attitude, an aura. It is the ability to make your presence known without having to say anything. Or the ability to make other people want to know what is about you that makes you walk with your shoulders back and your head up and look people dead in the eyes. I'd like to think I have a little swag myself, I am the Diddy of my own life. Maybe that is why tonight I had to accept that I am a swaggaholic.

Tonight I sat across from a really nice guy so in this story we will call him NICE. There were some things about Nice that I knew weren't going to fly. His pants were high waters, so that was already a sign because men with swag do not flood. Then there was the cotton polo. Nice guys wear their shirt with a little bend in the collar sort of like our fathers, men with swag keep those collars crisp and razor sharp. Nice guys buy buicks, swagger dudes buy motorcycles.

To let you in on this apiphany I had I have to make you aware that there is a particular person that has driven me to start a Swaggaholics Anonymous support group. We will call him SWAG. So I had to decide the other day that I couldn't deal with SWAG anymore because it wasn't healthy. I figure that will be pretty easy because it seems like I do most of the communicating. But in true swag form, I think he could sense that I was on a date because in the middle of my date with Nice I get a text from Swag. So from that point on I can't even really focus on Nice because I'm thinking about how to respond to Swag. In fact I was ready to end the outing with NICE at that moment in order to have a text convo with SWAG. This is ludicrous!!!!!

So basically I walked away from the date realizing that I am a victim of swag and those women out there like me need to come together and figure out how to let go of the swagger and let in nice!!! For the one person that reads this if you have any suggestions let me know.

Fake Deepism

So one of the things I love about my friends it that they are secretely brilliant. One of the interesting things about my friends is that we have deep conversations at the most ignorant vocabulary level. Like to the average onlooker our conversations look no different than the conversations of those chillin on corners talking smack about sports and who is finer Beyonce or Kelly, Boris or Shemar. Its just what we discuss that is different. Because I am used to having conversations on about a 3rd grade gutter english level, fake deepism drives me crazy. I hate when people try to initiate a conversation with convoluted language or try to be thought provoking. If you are bright and have insight people will know, you don't have to attempt to sound smart. When my sister calls I answer the phone; what up nig, not hello sibling how is your day going. So don't ask me if I feel like the CNN special will bring about change in black america or will we continue with the status quo.
Ask my simple ass will this special matter and I will tell you no because only middle class black folks that have cable watched that special, so there is no thought provoking there.

And maybe I am just stupid and that is why I want you to talk to me like a regular person. Or maybe I have nothing to prove.

Quote

Your dick keeps making me forget I think your stupid!!!

LOL

MUSIC REVIEW

Right now I am totally feeling Adele, she is singing the soundtrack of my life on so many levels. You should really check out her album 19. Right now my song is First Love because I am experiencing those feelings currently.

Chris Rock is Brilliant!!!!

This isn't a review about the Chris Rock show I just saw because we all know without question Chris Rock will not disappoint. He said something that was a total revelation to me. He was talking about interacial relationships and how black women hate to see black men with white girls. I was sitting in my chair thinking oh lawd what ignorant mess it about to come out of his mouth, but what he said to me was soooo true and I didn't even realize it.
The reason it makes black women so mad, that black men are attracted to white women isn't because we have such a sense of loyalty to the black man its because for the most part;

BLACK WOMEN AREN"T ATTRACTED TO WHITE MEN.

Light bulb. HE is SOOO Right.

Men in general are equal opportunity, if you are somewhat cute and willing a man will partake. You have to be like the finest white boy on the block just to get a look from most black chicks. I took a gander for about 3 seconds with this white dude and he was FINE!!!! One of those built, protein shake eating types and as fine as he was I can say I am not that attracted to him. He doesn't come close to turning me on like my slightly overweight ex or the much shorter black as night dude I messed with recently. My question is:

WHY AREN'T WE ATTRACTED?

Why are we limiting ourselves to only black men, or at the very least brown?

I have a friend that perpetually dates white dudes and I mean pure white and found myself just disgusted by the thought of it. None of these dudes are even slightly attractive and when she talks about them sexually I literally want to throw up. She just has broader horizons, she isn't boxed into looking for just black men which I guess is good. I just love chocolate skin and want nothing else and I guess we black women have always taken the fact black dudes dating white girls as a lack of love for brown ones, Chris Rock made me realize they just take all, and especially whats easy. So maybe we should start doing the same.

But its going to have to start with you cause I loves me a brotha.

Out

Best Day Yet!!!!

So I have been in a bit of a funk lately. Sometimes I feel like the world we live in is all jacked up when Michael Vick is down the street in prison for dogs, and R-Mutha-F ing Seasame street, child loving Kelly's a## is free as a bird. I want to blow up KC. But then God just spoke to my heart with the day he sent my way. 82 degrees and SUNNY, no rain, no clouds, no slap your mamma heat. Today was by far the BEST day I have had in KC. Got up went to church, grabbed some fruit from the city market, came home and read INK from front to back, went for a 3 mile walk with a friend who is trying to drop some pounds, picked up some groceries, went home and took a quick 2o minute nap, went back to the park read some of What is the What by Dave Eggers, ran for 3 miles, laid on a bench to let the wind dry off the sweat, stopped and got 2 movies, came home took a shower, watched one movie, found out a friend bought me a ticket to go see Chris Rock on Saturday, and now I am sitting here smiling and recapping. Just didn't want to forget. For the 3 people that will read this blog, I just want to say, this was a day some people stayed in the house and missed the blessing I received. Keep your eyes open when you are going through, you never know how God is going to bless you, and rejuvenate your spirit. I needed today more than I can express and I am thankful!!!

Why do you look away????

So here in the KC area there is a crap ton of miscegenation which for those that didn't score too high on the Verbal SATs means combination of race. It sort of took me off guard when I first moved here, but now after year four it is so common place I don't even notice, EXCEPT. I have noticed that when black men are walking with their partners from another race they always divert their eyes. Why do they avoid making eye contact?
Do they think I am going to scowel? A
Are they afraid that their chick will see the longing in theirs eyes?

One thing I have realized is that many non black women that date black men might act big and bad but they subconciously worry that the queen is what their men truly long for. Anyway I am diverging. I really would like to know why they look away. The best is when you are in a place and a black man will walk in alone, you will look and him and he will then look down and I sit and ponder, what the hell is wrong with him? Does he have low self esteem? Is my boob hanging out? Then a few minutes later the answer will be revealed to me when their "other" comes in and she doesn't look like Tyra, she looks like Heidi.

I guess the way I feel about is, if your gonna do it why be concerned with others opinions. I have been on a few outings with white boys, most totally platonic and I am always amused by the reactions. I look black dudes right in their face as I sit with "the oppressor." Even though I know in my mind that there is not a cold chance in hell I would date the person I am with, I enjoy the reactions.

Just a random thought again from the coffee shop where I should be studying.