The Babysitters
12 years ago
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Best Day Yet!!!!
So I have been in a bit of a funk lately. Sometimes I feel like the world we live in is all jacked up when Michael Vick is down the street in prison for dogs, and R-Mutha-F ing Seasame street, child loving Kelly's a## is free as a bird. I want to blow up KC. But then God just spoke to my heart with the day he sent my way. 82 degrees and SUNNY, no rain, no clouds, no slap your mamma heat. Today was by far the BEST day I have had in KC. Got up went to church, grabbed some fruit from the city market, came home and read INK from front to back, went for a 3 mile walk with a friend who is trying to drop some pounds, picked up some groceries, went home and took a quick 2o minute nap, went back to the park read some of What is the What by Dave Eggers, ran for 3 miles, laid on a bench to let the wind dry off the sweat, stopped and got 2 movies, came home took a shower, watched one movie, found out a friend bought me a ticket to go see Chris Rock on Saturday, and now I am sitting here smiling and recapping. Just didn't want to forget. For the 3 people that will read this blog, I just want to say, this was a day some people stayed in the house and missed the blessing I received. Keep your eyes open when you are going through, you never know how God is going to bless you, and rejuvenate your spirit. I needed today more than I can express and I am thankful!!!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Why do you look away????
So here in the KC area there is a crap ton of miscegenation which for those that didn't score too high on the Verbal SATs means combination of race. It sort of took me off guard when I first moved here, but now after year four it is so common place I don't even notice, EXCEPT. I have noticed that when black men are walking with their partners from another race they always divert their eyes. Why do they avoid making eye contact?
Do they think I am going to scowel? A
Are they afraid that their chick will see the longing in theirs eyes?
One thing I have realized is that many non black women that date black men might act big and bad but they subconciously worry that the queen is what their men truly long for. Anyway I am diverging. I really would like to know why they look away. The best is when you are in a place and a black man will walk in alone, you will look and him and he will then look down and I sit and ponder, what the hell is wrong with him? Does he have low self esteem? Is my boob hanging out? Then a few minutes later the answer will be revealed to me when their "other" comes in and she doesn't look like Tyra, she looks like Heidi.
I guess the way I feel about is, if your gonna do it why be concerned with others opinions. I have been on a few outings with white boys, most totally platonic and I am always amused by the reactions. I look black dudes right in their face as I sit with "the oppressor." Even though I know in my mind that there is not a cold chance in hell I would date the person I am with, I enjoy the reactions.
Just a random thought again from the coffee shop where I should be studying.
Do they think I am going to scowel? A
Are they afraid that their chick will see the longing in theirs eyes?
One thing I have realized is that many non black women that date black men might act big and bad but they subconciously worry that the queen is what their men truly long for. Anyway I am diverging. I really would like to know why they look away. The best is when you are in a place and a black man will walk in alone, you will look and him and he will then look down and I sit and ponder, what the hell is wrong with him? Does he have low self esteem? Is my boob hanging out? Then a few minutes later the answer will be revealed to me when their "other" comes in and she doesn't look like Tyra, she looks like Heidi.
I guess the way I feel about is, if your gonna do it why be concerned with others opinions. I have been on a few outings with white boys, most totally platonic and I am always amused by the reactions. I look black dudes right in their face as I sit with "the oppressor." Even though I know in my mind that there is not a cold chance in hell I would date the person I am with, I enjoy the reactions.
Just a random thought again from the coffee shop where I should be studying.
Why women are better cheaters
I am sitting here studying in a coffee shop in the middle of America and I just had a profound epiphany. I was thinking about a situation that I am sort of in and I realized why women are better cheaters than men. Why we can get away with cheating for so much longer than men. For those men out there that think they are the best liars that ever lived and their women never know. SIKE, you just date Kim Porter's that choose to ignore the obvious. WOMEN KNOW!!!!! Some choose to ignore, some tell themselves something but they still know in the back of their mind when they have a cheating man. Here is one major reason why for the most part men don't know when they have a cheating woman. Plain and simple.
Women are cordial.
What are you talking about? Women are cordial. Just that. You see women in general return phone calls and answer text messages, no matter how late. Men when they are being shady just ignore text messages, leaving their partners curious and opening up so many questions. Here are two examples.
Scenario 1
Mork is out with Mindy (the other woman) and Sarah calls. Mork looks at his phone, doesn't answer. He continues his date with Mindy and one thing leads to another and he is at Mindy's. Sarah calls again and Mork ignores the call. In the morning, everybody goes to work, Mork still hasn't called Sarah because his dumb ass hasn't thought of a good excuse. So at noon he calls and this is what he says to Sarah. "Hey Sarah, What you doin?" So that just leaves the door open for questioning from Sarah and lies from Mork.
Scenario 2
Minnie is out with Pluto and Mickey calls. Minnie knows who it is so she doesn't check until she goes to the restroom. While in the restroom she cordially sends a text stating she is isn't home and she will call when she gets home. Minnie and Pluto have a good time one thing leads to the next and she is spending the night. Over the course of the night Mickey calls 3 times. What does Minne do? As she is leaving Pluto's in the morning she calls, Mickey and apologizes CORDIALLY for not returning his calls, states she had a late night which wore her our (he he he!) and she fell right to sleep. This offers an explanation asap. Or lets say she is leaving at 3 am, she still calls, knowing Mickey is probably sleep and she will be able to leave a message. If he picks up she states she dosed off (which most people do post-coital), she is still in her clothes and as soon as she woke up she called him. Return of call, and explanation ASAP.
It is not rocket science, its just not being rude.
When someone calls a woman. She calls back at some point. Men in general don't operate like that, which leads to trouble. Men often try to put off or ignore all together what they perceive to be uncomfortable situations not realizing that the more time that lapses the more difficult it is to explain.
Women are cordial.
What are you talking about? Women are cordial. Just that. You see women in general return phone calls and answer text messages, no matter how late. Men when they are being shady just ignore text messages, leaving their partners curious and opening up so many questions. Here are two examples.
Scenario 1
Mork is out with Mindy (the other woman) and Sarah calls. Mork looks at his phone, doesn't answer. He continues his date with Mindy and one thing leads to another and he is at Mindy's. Sarah calls again and Mork ignores the call. In the morning, everybody goes to work, Mork still hasn't called Sarah because his dumb ass hasn't thought of a good excuse. So at noon he calls and this is what he says to Sarah. "Hey Sarah, What you doin?" So that just leaves the door open for questioning from Sarah and lies from Mork.
Scenario 2
Minnie is out with Pluto and Mickey calls. Minnie knows who it is so she doesn't check until she goes to the restroom. While in the restroom she cordially sends a text stating she is isn't home and she will call when she gets home. Minnie and Pluto have a good time one thing leads to the next and she is spending the night. Over the course of the night Mickey calls 3 times. What does Minne do? As she is leaving Pluto's in the morning she calls, Mickey and apologizes CORDIALLY for not returning his calls, states she had a late night which wore her our (he he he!) and she fell right to sleep. This offers an explanation asap. Or lets say she is leaving at 3 am, she still calls, knowing Mickey is probably sleep and she will be able to leave a message. If he picks up she states she dosed off (which most people do post-coital), she is still in her clothes and as soon as she woke up she called him. Return of call, and explanation ASAP.
It is not rocket science, its just not being rude.
When someone calls a woman. She calls back at some point. Men in general don't operate like that, which leads to trouble. Men often try to put off or ignore all together what they perceive to be uncomfortable situations not realizing that the more time that lapses the more difficult it is to explain.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Dick and a Degree Syndrome
I am currently counting down the moments until my exodus from Kansas City. I have been here for 4 years now and the first year I had a boyfriend. In the last 3 years I have only found one person that I even remotely liked and well that didn't turn out too well. One of the first things I noticed about black educated men in KC was that most of them complained about being here. BUT I don't know one that is from KC that has moved.
Why would anyone stay here?
(Now I am biased, and if you love KC click to the next blog because I plan to bash KC with fervor in almost every blog)
In my observation the black men here love being BIG fish in a small pond. They like that they are one of a "few good men." And what always makes me giggle inside is that, I haven't really met many that are that impressive. Now granted I went to an HBCU, so I am used to being around educated black folk. I was also a biology major so most of my friends, are teachers, physicians, dentists, or have their PhD's, so a bachelors isn't that impressive to me. Everyone should be commended for bettering themselves no matter what that entails but don't smell yourself too much or think that I am supposed to be impressed.
I was having a casual conversation with one of these "few good men" and I was telling him that he should (blah blah blah) or he will end up single and he says to me "I have a dick and a degree, I won't be single."
Oh monkey hell no he didn't.
Really, is that all it takes?
Now this wasn't by any means a Boris Kojoe stunt double, or Tyson Beckford's even finer twin brother. This dude is aiiight.
Again I am giggling in my mind because I think to myself, I would have never talked to you back home. This is a dude who the first time I went out with him alone I called my girls afterwards and told them that I had been on the most uninteresting outing of my life. (NO LIE!!!) It took 2 years of free lunches for me to realize that he is actually a cool dude, but if I wasn't in KC he wouldn't have ever gotten those lunch opportunities.
So from my experience here is all you need to be a BIG fish in KC(aka small pond)
1) Have arms and legs (ambulatory ones) don't laugh I have been to a party where the most eligible person there was a guy in a wheelchair
2) Be at least 5 feet 5 inches ( I swear men are shorter here I am usually one of the tallest people at most parties)
3) Have most of your teeth
4 & 5) If you have these two they supersede 1-3 A DICK AND A DEGREE
I am blown!!!
And I am out!!!!!
Why would anyone stay here?
(Now I am biased, and if you love KC click to the next blog because I plan to bash KC with fervor in almost every blog)
In my observation the black men here love being BIG fish in a small pond. They like that they are one of a "few good men." And what always makes me giggle inside is that, I haven't really met many that are that impressive. Now granted I went to an HBCU, so I am used to being around educated black folk. I was also a biology major so most of my friends, are teachers, physicians, dentists, or have their PhD's, so a bachelors isn't that impressive to me. Everyone should be commended for bettering themselves no matter what that entails but don't smell yourself too much or think that I am supposed to be impressed.
I was having a casual conversation with one of these "few good men" and I was telling him that he should (blah blah blah) or he will end up single and he says to me "I have a dick and a degree, I won't be single."
Oh monkey hell no he didn't.
Really, is that all it takes?
Now this wasn't by any means a Boris Kojoe stunt double, or Tyson Beckford's even finer twin brother. This dude is aiiight.
Again I am giggling in my mind because I think to myself, I would have never talked to you back home. This is a dude who the first time I went out with him alone I called my girls afterwards and told them that I had been on the most uninteresting outing of my life. (NO LIE!!!) It took 2 years of free lunches for me to realize that he is actually a cool dude, but if I wasn't in KC he wouldn't have ever gotten those lunch opportunities.
So from my experience here is all you need to be a BIG fish in KC(aka small pond)
1) Have arms and legs (ambulatory ones) don't laugh I have been to a party where the most eligible person there was a guy in a wheelchair
2) Be at least 5 feet 5 inches ( I swear men are shorter here I am usually one of the tallest people at most parties)
3) Have most of your teeth
4 & 5) If you have these two they supersede 1-3 A DICK AND A DEGREE
I am blown!!!
And I am out!!!!!
Monday, June 9, 2008
Just so you know!!!
It has been suggested to me that I should write a book about all the the random happenings of me and my friends in our adventures of being young black educated and single. So I am going to start by Blogging about various stories ALL TRUE. Some will be mine and some will be other people's stories so stay tuned!!!!!
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